we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
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The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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