Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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