matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
