My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Congratulations! We have a period
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