Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!