Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
