Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor