Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF