So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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