I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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