...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
