just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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