i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
