I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
