I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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