so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize