i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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