people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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