i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
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