What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
