After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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