So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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