Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
