i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
