My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize