Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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