Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I've blown a few things in my day
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
