I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
