i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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