I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize