I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
