he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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