You really coming over, don't trick.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You're a waste of cheezeits
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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