it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes