i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
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He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
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Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.