dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!