You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.