i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional