You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
