she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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