8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
