Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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