do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
