Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
