Well douche your snatch and let's go!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
