gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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