i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
