You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
