We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
