How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
