When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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