found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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