No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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