They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
