It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
