So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
