After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
