I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
