Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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