Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
