eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
