If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
