Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
