You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
