Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
