please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
