And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
