can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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