It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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