the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My balls are so social today.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
