i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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