I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize